classic articles

A 53-year-old man was arrested for robbing chicken from a restaurant and then throwing it at passing automobiles. According to The Enterprise, the man told a cashier that she had 15 seconds to give him the chicken. He took it outside and stood near the roadway, shaking his fist at motorists and pelting their cars.

Two men were charged with trying to remove their dead sister's body from her coffin. One brother made the attempt at the funeral home, and the other made his attempt the next day in church. The sister had died in an auto accident. No motive was given.

The dog warden got in a wrestling match with an emu. He eventually vanquished the beast, but was quoted as saying: "This was the worst butt-kicking I've ever had in my life." He elaborated: "It kicked my brains out."

A Lucas Hollow man sought by police was found in his trailer hiding under a blanket. The newspaper quoted an officer: “I saw a foot sticking out from under a blanket between two bunk beds. . . . I told him to get out that the hide and seek game was over."

According to The Enterprise, police added that the trailer "had no running water and had defamation everywhere."

A Garrard woman admitted stealing a television set from someone’s house. She told police she had recently had a similar one stolen from her. A police sergeant told the newspaper: "Her philosophy seemed to be 'lose a TV, take a TV.'"

The woman also tried to burn down the house, police said, but the arson was thwarted because she built the fire too close to the water heater, which exploded and extinguished the flames.

Inside a Clay County district court room, a 27-year-old man, on trial for burglary, began a fist fight with the sheriff and his deputies. He bit the sheriff on the leg, necessitating medical treatment, and broke a deputy's glasses. The fight began when the man's mother slipped him a marijuana cigarette and deputies tried to search him.

Two men and a woman were indicted for setting fire to the Indian Grave Baptist Church, on Barbourville Road. They allegedly used a stack of Bibles as fuel.

The editor of The Enterprise wrote an April Fool’s Day column, apparently unaware that the paper would be published on April 2.

Police are still looking for an inmate who walked out of the courtroom during his own arraignment. The man – being held on burglary, firearm and drug charges – apparently managed to blend in with the crowd and slip away.

Mayor Daugh White hired his son, Kennon, to become, at $45,000 and a car, the city's highest-paid employee. The son told the Enterprise that the scope of his duties hasn't yet been decided. Some City Council members privately griped that they weren't consulted. A spokesperson for the attorney general said Kentucky has no law regulating nepotism at the local level.

A Clay County election officer was arrested for allegedly being drunk on the job at 8 a.m.

An Enterprise column had this headline: "It's official, fornication & adultery are increasing." The writer said the information came from federal statistics.

A 27-year-old Curry Branch man was jailed after police said they found him chasing "make-believe" people. He was going after them with "a very large wooden stick" and was asking neighbors if he could borrow their guns to shoot the interlopers. Police said he had used cocaine, smoked marijuana and drunk "five or six" beers.

Sheriff Edd Jordan was quoted as saying that it was a "legitimate" shooting when the van of a candidate in the recent primary election was fired upon 31 times.

As part of Kentucky's tobacco settlement program, local cattle ranchers will be able to receive marching funds for the purchase of bulls. The Enterprise didn't explain the connection between the tobacco settlement and livestock subsidies.

Authorities have arrested a man accused of having stolen a nitro-powered remote control car from another man's home. The nitro-powered remote control car was recovered and returned to its owner.

In the increasingly bizarre runup to the May 28 primary elections, Sheriff Edd Jordan has allowed the county's absentee voting machine to re-open. He had ordered it closed two weeks ago because he suspected votes were being stolen, although he told The New York Times that he had no evidence and no suspects. (Jordan, who is in a primary fight of his own, has said that his own electoral issues had nothing to do with his actions.) "Once the state and local boards agreed with my requirements," Jordan said, "I saw no reason to keep the poll closed."

Police said a dozen people were hospitalized when a drug dealer mistakenly gave them the anti-psychotic prescription drug Haldol instead of the Xanax they thought they were buying. It was indisputably an honest mistake: the alleged dealer himself was among those hospitalized.

The Enterprise ran an article titled "A Day in the Life of State Rep. Barbara Colter." The day began at 10:30 a.m. and ended at 2 in the afternoon. Lunch figured prominently in the mix of activities.

With primary elections approaching, one of the more colorful advertisements was placed by a candidate for constable. "I pick up dead animals from roadways," the ad said. "I can eat a sandwich with one hand and pick up the dead animal with the other." In another ad, a candidate for magistrate, noting that she has managed the local Long John Silver's restaurant for 26 years, describes herself as "The Fish Woman."

A woman was hospitalized after finding white powder in a water filter she bought at Wal-Mart. Officials say the burning sensation she experienced traced not to anthrax but to the bleach with which she tried to decontaminate herself.

Pastors of local Presbyterian churches spoke out strongly against proposals to ordain gay and lesbian clergy. One told The Enterprise that it would be the "worst possible thing that couple happen to our church here," without explaining the local reference.

A woman who pled guilty to murdering her stepson in 1992 and then burning the corpse hopes to get her life sentence reduced. (This gets complicated, but it's worth it). In prison, she met another man and married him. But then she met a man on the Internet. She is described as having said each was the one for whom she had been searching all her life. Though he knew of her marriage, the Internet suitor, a 46-year-old landscaper from Ottawa, Ontario, began sending her money, and now he says he wants to pay for an appeal of her sentence. A London (Ky.) attorney acknowledges that he has been approached about the case. A prosecutor said that if by some chance she succeeds in having the sentence reviewed, the state will seek the death penalty instead of a mere reaffirmation of her life sentence. The Canadian suitor says he doesn't think the woman is conning him for money.

March 29, 2001

A local sculptor, Robert Hazelwood, has made a life-size statue of Daniel Boone out of dirt from his garden. Using different kinds of soil allowed him to create contrasting colors. Until now, he had used wood and a chainsaw to create carvings.

A husband and wife from Annville were charged with criminal trespass after members of the Happy Hill Holiness Church claimed that the two repeatedly disrupted services. The man told the officer who arrested him that he "could not leave the church unless instructed to do so by God."

A 74-year-old Manchester man was charged with selling a fifth of liquor to a juvenile for $13. A search of his home turned up 60 bottles of various liquors. (Manchester and Clay County are, legally, dry territory.)

Manchester City Council suddenly decided to expand itself from six to eight members because, as the Mayor explained, "We feel it is in the best interest for the city to have two extra seats on the council." Nothing more was required to implement this change in government structure than two readings of an ordinance, one on Monday night and the second on Tuesday morning. Two men who had announced their plans to run for seats on the old council will be appointed to the newly created seats, The Enterprise reported.

The council also voted unanimously to endorse the incumbent state senator, who is running for re-election.

Police pursued a car with two men in it because it had no license tags. At one point, driver and passenger switched seats – in the middle of the chase. Police said both were intoxicated, so two drunk-driving arrests emerged from the single incident.

A man tossed a bag out his car window, and police arrested him for littering. More charges were laid against him when they discovered that the bag contained a pound and a half of marijuana. The man had wrongly thought the police were going to pull him over.

Sheriff's deputies noticed a man climbing out the window of his girlfriend's house as they tried to serve a felony warrant on him. When they gave pursuit, they discovered a 25-plant marijuana garden adjoining the house. The boyfriend eluded the deputies, but they arrested the girlfriend.

A 33-year-old Curry Branch woman was sentenced to more than seven years in prison, having pled guilty to charges that she hid 59 bags of cocaine in her underwear last January.

A Manchester man was arrested for drunk driving, among other offenses, after he crashed into a parked state truck and then crashed into a second state truck while trying to flee the scene. By the time police caught up with him, he had passed out in his car, with a bottle of liquor between his legs.

A 21-year-old man was charged with kidnapping and assault after he stole a parked food-service truck. The girlfriend of the driver was asleep in the back, and the thief tried unsuccessfully to force her to have sex with him.

The local circuit court judge stunned people in his court room one day by demanding that those appearing before him that day take surprise drug tests. Several people failed and were sent to jail.

Two men from neighboring Breathitt County stole two cars and used one of them to ram down the wall of the Save-a-Lot store at Island Creek. Police said they also tried to run over five people.

A 28-year-old Clay County man escaped from a Frankfort prison, stole a state van and some whiskey, and drove to his parents' home in Oneida. They turned him in. He had been only four months away from completing a six-year sentence.

A 34-year-old Manchester woman was arrested for drunk driving and a host of other charges after she nearly ran over fire fighters as she tried to drive away from her burning home.

A spelling bee for local pupils will be held Saturday. The Enterprise's article announcing it had four grammatical errors but no spelling mistakes.

A 33-year-old Curry Branch woman is being held in the county jail after police found 59 bags of cocaine hidden “in her undergarments.”

An argument between two women in a grocery store parking lot ended when one of them knocked the other down with her truck and them rammed the victim's car. The truck driver fled but was later arrested. The victim was not seriously injured.

A 26-year-old Horse Creek man was charged with intoxication after he rode a mule to a Town Branch pool parlor.

After being arrested for conspiring to sell marijuana, the wife of a former deputy sheriff was also charged with harassing an assistant city police chief. She allegedly followed him into a restaurant and, according to The Enterprise, "engaged in conduct to repeatedly commit acts which alarmed [him] and others."

A 26-year-old Manchester man was found hiding under a blanket of leaves after he ran his car off the road in an effort to evade police who chased him for speeding.

Someone sent an empty container to the health department from an address in Landover, Md., that turned out to be non-existent. Health officials worried that it might contain anthrax. The local sheriff's office and the state police didn't take the possibility seriously, but the FBI did, which took the package for analysis.

The Board of Education extended its no-drugs-in-school policy to include teachers and administrators as well as students.

A 26-year-old Big Creek man was killed by gunfire as the result of an apparent feud over the theft of a four-wheeler. A 28-year-old Double Creek man has been arrested and charged with the murder. His lawyer said his client shot in self-defense. A police source told The Enterprise that the victim "was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

A 19-year-old youth jumped into the back of a police cruiser and said "take me to jail, I'm drunk." The police obliged, charging him with intoxication.

Two Manchester men were arrested when they were discovered trying to climb into a local cardiologist's office after breaking a window. In a separate window-breaking incident, also involving two men, police are seeking arrest warrants after an attempted break-in at Big Creek Elementary School. One of them seems to have left his car at the scene.

The Enterprise, which otherwise attempts to report only local news, inexplicably continued its coverage of the World Wrestling Federation, through a long article this week under the byline "Vicious Vic Kavelish."

Clay County Attorney Clay Bishop was pictured in the paper this week with Kevin Wagers, a pupil at Clay County Middle School, who won an anti-littering slogan contest. Kevin's entry: "Throw trash -- lose cash."

A Leslie County man was shot by a Cincinnati man in a high-speed auto chase. Follow this carefully. The former passed the latter, who "shock his fist" at him, as the Enterprise put it. This enraged the Laurel County man, who chased the Cincinnati man into Elk Creek in Clay County, took a .45 automatic pistol, and shot the Cincinnati man through the back window.

Here's another one to follow closely. Several months ago, the former schools superintendent fired his predecessor's son from his post as maintenance supervisor. The school board recently fired the superintendent. Now it has rehired the fired maintenance supervisor.

Sheriff Edd Jordan had his picture on the front page of The Enterprise standing alongside several cases of beer that were confiscated in a raid at Greenbriar.

Two brothers, driving on the Daniel Boone Parkway, got into an argument over which way to turn at an exit. Apparently determined to make his point, the younger of the two pulled a knife and stabbed his older brother in the ribs and arm. Police charged him with assault.

A Corbin man was stabbed and beaten under exceedingly odd circumstances. He refused to tell police about the attack itself. But he did say that while fleeing from his attackers, he somehow lost all his clothes, which is why he was naked when police found him. While medical personnel were getting ready to take him to the hospital, he jumped off the stretcher and into a nearby creek, where he splashed around “for no apparent reason.”

A 44-year-old man was arrested when sheriff’s deputies seized a supply of Budweiser at his home on Big Creek. The Enterprise covered the story with photographs on pages A-1, A-5, and B-9. It didn’t report how much beer was involved.

Citing safety concerns, the superintendent of schools banned delivery of Valentine’s Day gifts in the public schools.

The editor of The Enterprise ridiculed cities that have filed lawsuits against manufacturers of guns. He wrote that individuals make choices and are not compelled by manufacturers to do anything. “To pack a gun is my right,” he wrote, just as it is his right to choose not to smoke cigarettes.